Day Two after the Impeachment

Today is an eye opener for some of us. Even thought I expected that Polosi-it's as hard to spell her name as it is to figure out what lie she is going to tell next.

Anyway, on to the rest of the story. I really thought that she would turn over the papers this morning. I was soooooo wrong. She has decided to keep them until she knows what is exactly going to happen with those papers.

I think shes keeping them so she can play "being the person who started the USCMA." That wonderful agreement that Trump penned last year and she made sure that they were not put forth until He was not in a position to tell anything about them.

See, this is what I have figured out----Polosi is a bully in the passive-aggressive genre. She doesn't want people to figure out how thoroughly she has her hands on all things that come across her desk, and really doesn't let go. If I had been that sneaky with  thinks like that with my husband he would have divorced me.

And I think WE THE PEOPLE need to divorce her next time she election comes up. We need someone who loves this USA. In this order---God--her job, meaning the best for this country--and then her family and the rest of that world.

I for one, am tired of these Dummiesare the PEOPLE  in DC thinking that everyone one else is stupid. I am not stupid. I started collage at 58 and a community collage. I finished four years later with an 3.85 GPA. That is not a stupid person. Millions of "the rest of us" are not stupid either.

Lets let DC know that we are tired of being castoffs like they think we are.

WE  THE PEOPLE --I  like that.

More Tomorrow. 

The Impeachment

I've been like a lot of people, watched all that garbage on TV and didn't google anything.

That is until today., Today I got mad. The people in DC are wasting OUR money to keep on with things as they want them to be. No thoughts for the people who send in all that tax we pay for their salary which they don't work for. They just bitch at each other. Or rather, about each group of people.

The law says that the papers about the impeachment HAS to be turned over to the senators. Ms. Pilosi thinks she can keep as long as she sees fit. So, if its a law,  and she says she wants to go by the laws of this country, why doesn't she hand them over. What is she worried about.?

Just before I started this today I wanted to find out something more about the Biden son who worked for a company in Ukraine and another in Hong Kong. The pages were not filling out with words , just pictures. That makes me think that someone has decided to fiddle with the internet pieces about Biden. That makes me wonder what the family is trying to hide.

Bidens kids went to work in Ukraine while Obama was in office. I know that the law says that the president has to give up all of his businesses, Jimmy Carter had to give up his businesses. And he did, until he got out of office, as did his children.

If it is the law that the whole family has to give up, why did Bidens son stay on the payrole?

Trumps family quite working in the family payrole. Maybe that's it, Biden didn't own the place in  Ukraine so his son could work.

I don't know it just seems not right to me.

There is so much untruth going around this country, how do we know what's right or not.

So here we are with all these-fib-Ukraine-this person and that person secretly behind the peoples backs-and we still don't know what's going on. We don't know because they - meaning the media and others - find it's easier to tell untruth than is is to just tell the truth.

There will be more here.

I for one want to know about the impeachment papers and the constitution. Who gets them, who hands them over to whom, and how long can they be in the first persons hands.

Lots to ask questions about.

More Tomorrow.

Its a beautiful day today

Its fall according to the calendar. And here in Oklahoma the wind is blowing. And yes, the song is right---the wind comes sweeping down the plain. The pecan trees are shaking their leaves so the nuts will be coming down soon. I usually just let the squirrels have the pecans because I would eat them all if I have shelled ones to eat.

I've seen hummingbirds, and more spiders than I really wanted to see. And rain for tomorrow and lows will be in the 50s. That's getting cool enough for the grass to start hiding in the ground. That means less mowing. Halloween in October, Thanksgiving in November and Christmas in December. And then the year of 2020.

When Jerry was a child his family would go to Ma Hundley's house one time while all that was going on. Ma was Jerry's mother's name. But most of the time they would stay on the farm. My family didn't always go back to Dallas, but we went enough times that I remember.

We would usually travel at night. Dad told me later that he has to drive then because my brother And I would fight constantly. I would watch the stars in the sky over the Mojave desert, making up stories as we traveled. Cars were different right after WW2, and we could see through the big windows on the doors and the window on the back of the car. I didn't know the names of the stars, or even that there were stars with names. Sometime down the rode I would go to sleep.

There was one night trip that woke me up. At first I thought -- those stars are so bright! Then--this is so great-there are all kinds of colors coming from those stars. By then I was more awake and sat up. It wasn't stars--it was the lights in Las Vegas. They were so bright -- some blinking--some going up and down--some of the neon pieces were talking and some were moving...awesome!

In 2003 we took time for a vacation and were on our way to Yosemite to see the big trees. We went thru Las Vegas and it just wasn't the same. We stopped for breakfast and we went down the strip. And then over the dam. We got to see the west side of the water and the went on. We wound up spending the night in Kingston.

The last time I remember Kingston it had snowed and it was melting and so very slick. Dad helped us all into the room--don't remember food but I'm sure there was something. When we got up the next morning the snow was gone. The only thing I remember about Kingston is that dad couldn't believe that there was snow in the desert, I found out much later from instructors in college that there is a high desert and there is low desert.

It was so much fun to tell Jerry these things and then I'd ask him things that his family had done. Places thy had gone and all the fun times in their little community.

But that's for the next time

More later.

Taking Time Off

Vacations are important. They clear the brain, they give us a better understanding of different cultures, they let us put on our childishness and just have a good time. New food--New culture---New landscapes! All because we took a week or two to see all that.

When we were in New Mexico, we spent a lot of time in Durango Colorado and Cortez. But then we had the time when we went to the BIG trees. You know the BIG redwoods in Yosemite park.

We saw something about them on the TV and Jerry just didn't believe that trees could be that big. Fall freak was coming so I talked him into going to see those huge trees.

He toke a week off and went west. Things are really different after you leave the mountains. The Mojave was spectacular. The road going north was so green and yet the ground was dry. We passed Rena and went straight to the park. The only thing is that I had navigated us to the top of the park---and the trees were n the south of the park.

Ladies would you believe that he just laughed.

When we found the trees, he was dumbfounded.  He didn't really know what to say. He walked around one big tree and because his boot was 12 inches long he knew that the first tree was 60 feet around and the other was 75. 

We took off south and went through Bakersfield and all those towns. The ground is very sandy, that does not mean it's not beautiful. Just different. Started back to Farmington and took the southern route. Went thru the land of the crater and the petrified forest, saws the sighs to Scotty's Castle, but we went on and finally stopped and had a good supper and made are way home on the fifth day.

That was the longest vacation we ever made. Well he did put his food on five continents, 17 different countries and America. My bucket list includes a Amtrak ride all round the USA.

NanaNews

Things go kinda crazy sometimes. I thought that I would be able to find an agent real quick. It seems that everyone has gone to self publishing. I don't have time for that.

If any of you know of a good agent please let me know.

The things that I have been posting are all from the book I wrote after Jerry passed. We had some good times and then we had some funny ones.

This one was so funny......

     Having grown up in a family that tried all kinds of vegetables and cuisine; I liked broccoli and garlic, and cilantro and celery. I cooked chicken smothered with onions and garlic and cinnamon. I baked the big bass that he caught on a fishing trip and had stuffed it with onions and apples. I thought it was wonderful. He didn’t.

      He liked southern food. And I have learned, over the years, how to cook what he likes and in return he has learned how to enjoy food from different countries.

    The first skirmish happened over the Red beans he wanted. After going all around the store looking for red beans, I finally found them. In the section where they were there were white beans, lima beans (they are green), I found the split peas, and I found the RED beans. And I found the pinto beans that are brown. I took the RED beans home and read the package directions. It said to put them in water over night and then it read how to cook them the next day. The beans went into a pot and then into the fridge for probably 12 hours or a little longer. The next morning, I read the instructions again. Poured off the water and covered the beans with fresh water; brought it all to a boil and cooked for two hours, just as the instructions said.   For TWO hours. When Jerry got home. I filled his plate with RED beans and cornbread that kept breaking into chunks. YUMMMMMMM.

     Then he took a bite; he spit them out. Those beans went all over that kitchen. “That’s not RED beans” he said—loudly.

     Back to the grocery we went so he could show me the RED beans. Well, we found the RED beans. I know they were RED beans because the package said they were RED beans. RED kidney beans. The ONLY package that had RED written anywhere on the package. He looked through all those packages and finally found what he was looking for. “THIS is RED beans,” he said. I said,” The package says PINTO beans.” My family did not eat peas, beans, corn on the cob, nothing like that. My dad’s family used all that as fodder for the animals on their farms. I don’t know about my moms’ family and beans and corn. I do know she never cooked any beans at our house.  Well, she did cook green beans. Over the years and after all the different countries he was in Jerry learned how to eat and like lots of different vegetables. He even ate Brussels sprouts if they were fresh from the market.

     I tried the way I got kids to eat different things with Jerry. I’d cook the Brussels sprouts with no salt so they were less harsh and sweeter cooked that way. Then on would go some butter and salt. He ate a lot of veggies and never asked what they were.

     First lesson learned by both of us. Don’t assume that your spouse knows what you are talking about. Ask questions. LOTS of questions.

More Later

NanaNews

I've been watching talk shows and home programs and I am so happy to see that people are beginning to understand that the shuffling around the fact that all of us need to belong to a family and the best way for your kids to know that they are part of that family is to expect them to help at home--no money involved.

When I was seven and my mom got sick -- which I didn't know about -- U had chores. Not a lot but things that had to be done every day to make the family work like a clock.

Here's what I mean----

     Things were changing again. This time Phil was pressing his own shirts. Mom would be gone for a couple of days, as I’ve said. Then she’d be home. Sleeping a lot. Phil and I would fix dinner and wash the dishes. Then this old woman came to the house and would clean and get us kids ready for school. I remember that she thought that it was terrible that I couldn’t comb my hair and put it in braids. It was either learn how to braid my hair or go to school looking like a banshee. It took me a while, but I learned how to comb and braid my hair. No more banshee for me!! I was seven when we got the house keeper. She would go home after we got back from school. The evening meal was cooked for when dad got home. It was our after school job to wash the dishes—pots and pans included. Dad divided the chores. My job was to wash the plates and silverware and glasses. Dry them and put them away. Because most of the pots were cast iron those day, Phil’s job was to wash them and put them away.

     I couldn’t touch the faucets while standing on the ground, so I got a chair, put the back of the chair to the counter and washed dishes. I had to stand on the counter to put the plates and glasses in the cabinets. When we bought this house, my kids found me standing on the counter cleaning the cabinets and they had a fit. So, I had to promise that I would use a ladder from then on.

I felt needed and part of a family because I could help when I was needed. Kids just feel better when they can help and when someone cares enough to tell them to behave themselves and mean it!

NanaNews

One of the things I like about blogging is that I can write things that I want to. I can stretch the fun a little and still enjoy the day.

Today we are going back to LA when I was 6 maybe.....

     Another thing I learned during that time in Eagle Rock changed my life forever.

     A little way from our home a man kept turtles. Huge turtles, with big humps. A small child could ride on one of those beautiful beasts. One day I was watching the mom and the baby turtles. The male was off by himself. A guy, a grown-up guy, came out of the house with melons and tomatoes, celery and carrots. The turtles lifted their heads and slowly came over to the fruits and veggies. They opened their big mouths and began tearing the food into smaller parts. Eating as they tore the food apart. The guy came over and told me a lot about the turtles. Galapagos turtles, he told me. Even in those days they were becoming scarce. The male had gotten a cracked shell and he was taking care of that turtle so his shell would heal and the turtle didn’t get an infection. He asked me not to ride him as it was not completely healed. Never did ride that turtle, but I got to put out the food if I got there in time.

     One day there was two girls around my age watching those turtles. I saw them trying to ride the male one day. Now, that man had told me about the crack in that turtle’s shell. I didn’t know anything about them, but it did not feel right to just stand there and let them hurt Mr. Turtle. I got up the gumption to tell them that they were hurting that turtle and they laughed at me and went home.

     It still bothers me when I see anyone harming another person or animals. God just gave me a heart for taking care of people and animals who need help. I am so blessed that He did, as I knew what to do for Jerry. I would know when he needed to go the doctor and when to wait.

     Sometime later we, those girls and I, happened to walk home from school together. They asked me to come back and play with them the next day. They did some very strange things. but I kept on playing with them. I don’t know why, maybe I was just trying to figure out why they were so strange. I just wasn’t used to having girlfriends, maybe that was why--

Until…...

one day after school, mom sat me down and told me those girls were not nice and she didn’t want me to play with them anymore. She didn’t act mad, just very firm. I paid attention because my mom was never firm about anything unless she meant it.

     I started coming home a different way. Up the side of the mountain and through a few yards. I didn’t see them for a long time and then one day there they were in that tree across from the turtle’s yard. They called to me to come and climb the tree, so they could tell me some wonderful news. Why did I do that? I had no idea, but the I do know now. The first thing that came into my mind was, from that tree I could see our backyard and if mom came out, I could get down really quick. There was something or some reason for climbing that tree. Second reason, they were so changed. They were happy, happy, Happy. The bad words were gone and replaced with much better language. I had to find out what caused that because then mom might let me play with them.

     Also, their faces glowed with happiness and contentment. Completely changed. Beautiful twinkling eyes.

     We’ve found Jesus—they said.  

     Who is Jesus? —I asked,         

     They told me about Jesus being the Son of God. How He loves us. Both speaking at the same time.

     Their words flowing like water.

     Then I heard that I could have the wonderful life that Jesus has for all of us, and we could be sisters in JESUS.

     After seeing how happy they were now—so different than before, of course, I wanted that too.

     And it was right there in that tree I asked Jesus to take me into His family. To take me and make me His. I could feel the difference in me even at the age of six. I felt enthused, clean but most of all loved and not alone anymore.

More Tomorrow

9/11

Need I say more.

I remember that day just as most of us do. I remember where Jerry and I were when we learned about the horrendous attack on innocent people.
What do you remember?

We had been to Jerry's mom's house for a reunion with a preacher friend of ours that had come to visit with Louise and RT--and be thealso  preacher at the revival the church had once a year.

The revival was only four days, I can listen to Bill White for more days than that. He's on YouTube if you want to hear some good sermons.

Anyway, He was getting ready to go back to Florida. We were packed and ready to go. Bill got a phone call. The look on his face was --- I don't know how to explain it.  He wasn't scared, he wasn't overcome with grief, nor was he laughing. I guess you could say he was ready to get home--but in a hurry.

We left, as we had a four hour trip to Duncan. An little time with the kids and grand kids and then another 16 hours to Farmington.

When we got to Dallas on I20, every car and every truck were going no more than 40 miles and hour instead of the usual 80 to 90.

We both thought that there had been a wreck up the road. That did'n show up. I asked Jerry if he thought we had encountered the beginning of the tribulation and we didn't get taken to Heaven.

Then I turned on the radio to WBAP. And the second tower went down.

It took us more than four hours to get back to Oklahoma.

I had seen the carnage done to the Murrah building in Oklahoma City. I don't want to see that again.

This is AMERICA and we will stay that way

FUN IN THE SUN BACK IN 1948

The giant Ferris wheel on the pier at Santa Monica beach has been transported to Oklahoma City Okla. It looks so said out there in the pasture by the Oklahoma river, even though the river has become a major entertainment center in the capitol city.

I knew that ferris wheel when I was just a child. Loved the waves hitting my feet. I used to like to get out farther, until that day that Phil had to rescue me because the waves got too high and I couldn't come up for air.

Mom would take us to a day long swim or nap or sand castles and for lunch. Here's some of the thngs I  put into the book  that will explain what we did way back in 1948.

     Lots of things happened in those days. I learned to ride a bicycle. I remember the food. We found peanut butter in the deli area of the butcher shop. It looked good. The meat man brought it out of the cooler, so we could smell it. It smelled just like peanuts. Yummm, he gave us a slice to try. Was it DRY? That is not the half of it. First bite --- it took my breath away. Literally! Mom even had to blow into my mouth, so I could get some air. WAY too much for one bite.

     Speaking of food, we had wonderful Asian, awesome Mexican, mom’s homemade apricot jam, milk with lots of cream. Mom’s Chow Mein. And her pies! The ease with which she made pie crust. She made coconut crème, apple, strawberry, lemon, pumpkin and I don’t know how many more. All were good, and all were homemade. Mom let me watch her cook—up to a point. She would put me onto the counter and I would “help” by putting the used spoons and bowls into the sink. I got to wash them too. I couldn’t use the stove because it was too tall for me to even get close to. I watched, and I learned how to cook. Just so you know it’s extremely easy to make pie crust when you do it mom’s way.

     One night we were going to the Grauman Chinese theater to see a new movie. We had dinner at the Asian restaurant adjacent to the theater. I love Asian. Those awesome scents in the air—garlic, ginger, soy - I loved it all. I also like to try new things to eat and when dad got his soup I wanted some too. It smelled sooo good. A cute spoon and wonderful aroma. When I looked into the bowl there were three green peas. Dad told me it was “bird’s nest soup.” And, of course, you know it, I had to say loudly, “bird’s nest?” But I did finally eat it and it was the best soup I’ve ever had.

     To be truthful I have forgotten the exact year that all this happened. We were at war and having to recycle newspapers and glass—planes in the air and submarines in the water. Recycling cans, and bottles--each color had to be put it a separate container—cans that had to be clean and smashed and      the top put inside. Newspapers had to be tied up with string, and the other paper was tied up too. We had the blackout curtains and we had an earthquake that moved the piano from one end of the living room to the other. Mom at four feet eleven and me shorter than that moved that piano back into place. And that means that the sequence of these goings on are probably not in order—but everything happened as I am writing.

      Summer time meant food and ocean. Santa Monica Beach. I can hear the waves pounding into the sand, I can smell the water filled with salt and seaweed. I can see the very tall Ferris Wheel that protruded out into the ocean as you would start down from the very high top. The sun beating down on us as we took our naps. Phil probably didn’t take a nap being almost four years older than me.

    I remember the lunches mom brought for us. Celery, carrots, bread, fruit, water in a jar, and boiled eggs.

     Have you ever eaten a boiled egg while the wind was blowing sand into everything? Eggs included!!

     Boiled eggs are not bad. I have them a lot. In fact, I really like boiled eggs. I just don’t like my boiled eggs with sand. Not good---at all.

     When you’re five or six and you go to the beach for the day, it’s so soothing. Living in wartime is stressful—especially for kids. The wind was blowing so I put that first egg into my mouth—egg yolk and all—I couldn’t breathe. I finally got that yolk out and looked down to my plate and there it was. Another egg. I knew I couldn’t go through that clogged airwave again. So, I thought about it and decided to take care of those eggs for good. I buried those hummers in the sand. As far as I could get them to go, I pushed and pushed and finally I couldn’t see any yolk. I didn’t want to hurt mom’s feelings. I couldn’t NOT eat the egg. But the little children on the other side of the world who didn’t have enough to eat would really like those boiled eggs. To eat. Sand and all!!! I didn’t care because I had found a way to get rid of those lethal egg yolks. Without mom’s feelings getting hurt.

     I’ve often wondered what happened to those yokes.

     Another wondering was this. Did mom ever know that I buried those sandy things?

More about Jerry

When Jerry and I married he really didn't like to have dogs in the house. He was a farmer guy and the dogs were outside so they could  bark when things were going on outside that didn't need to be going on.

Like someone trying to get the cows, or get food out of the smoke house, or coyotes getting in the chicken house, or maybe even skunks.

I on the other hand liked dogs in the house. Dad got a chance to get a dog from the man who raised and trained all the Lassies. We had two bt one had some kind of disease that almost ate his skin off. Remember that I was only a seven year old when we got that dog, so I don't know all the problems that this puppy had. Then we got Pepper.

Pepper needed more grooming than I did. But we had pepper until he died after we had been in Oklahoma City for a while. I don't know where he went. I just know that he got sick and didn't come home from the vet's.

When Jerry and I got married we got puppies after we moved to town and had our own apartment. His mother was not used to dogs in the house.

We had puppies until we went to England in 1973. England has a quarantine for animals for six months. Families are able to visit the cats and dogs, but they are not allowed out of the cage. Louise, that's Jerry's mom, said they would take the dog for the two years we were gone. She took good care of that dog and even let her sleep in the house.

Then we got Mandy for me and Killer for Lynn the Christmas of 1978. We were going to have Yorkie babies. And we did. First litter was one puppy.  We named her Priscilla because she was so prissy. The second litter was EIGHT. No more puppies!

We've had two others and Jerry fell in love with both of them--of course that's because he was home to see them grow and have them pick him as THEIR person.

It's been two years and one month since Jerry died and Sarah is sleeping on the floor that was the side of the bed Jerry slept on. I guess she just knows that that's where he slept.

Sad but true.

Flowers--Jerry brought me flowers.

I love flowers. I even like the silk ones. We met in the fall of 1956, and by that spring we were inseparable.  His afternoon class was Agriculture and sports. I had seen those beautiful roses flowing over the walls of the rock wall. Beautiful light Yellow, Pink and then the red one too.

One day he met me at the door going out of the school and gave me this damp paper towel. He had picked that rose - taken the thorns off and wrapped the flower in that wet paper napkin so it would last longer. AND he gave me that rose in front of everyone.

He really did love me.

From the book---

After we met, we were never apart, meeting for lunch and walking back to the school where we would find a place next to my next class. He always had AG classes in the afternoon and he would wait til the last minute and then run fast to get to his class. I think he probably was late most of those days.

That first spring when the flowers bloomed I was amazed. There were roses all along the street outside of the high school. The AG barn was across the street from the main school building and even though it didn’t look like a barn, that’s what it was called. Surrounding the barn were various homes, homes that had roses. Some of which had grown enough to fall over the fences. And every Spring, every school day, he would bring me a rose. The thorns were taken off and he cuddled them up in wet paper towels, so they would stay as fresh as possible. When we moved to England he brought me flowers almost every time he went into Yarmouth. I’m sitting in front of my computer and I smell the flowers he brought me so often.

The year before he died was the last Spring he remembered the roses.

What came to my mind as I wrote that?

Even though he was having trouble talking, he knew that I loved flowers, so he brought me some. Some were Iris. Some were roses. Some were those little purple flowers, weeds actually. But all were given to me in love. I was overwhelmed when he brought that first hand full of roses that last time.  What a soul filling thing to do. He was getting worse every week and he saw those roses. He even took the thorns off like he always did. He loved me and showed that. Very simple but so heart felt. 

More Tomorrow

Can't let this go

Today I have Sarah and Baby Girl to stay with me..Baby Girl is Dave's furry person and you know that Sarah is mine.

Have you ever watched two dogs lay down?  In all my years I have never noticed that dogs, not puppies, sleep facing the same way. It's like the Alpha female or male, has the choice and all the rest have to follow.

Last night I was looking at the dogs and they were both sleeping with their heads to the west and on their left side.

Then later after drinks for the both of them, they laid down again and were facing west again but they were on their right side. Then they moved to the north.

It was so interesting to watch them as switched places and stopped facing the same direction.

What would we do without our furry babies?

Sarah gets onto the sofa with me every morning and after about thirty minutes she goes over to the recliner.  Then she might go the the old recliner.

But, if  I go into the kitchen she follows me and begs for food. She doesn't play with toys. She's never chases a ball. She has never-----add what you want. She just likes food. So when she got to be 19 pounds I put the both of us on a diet. We get good food, but not as much as we used to. We also get ice cream every once in a while. And we get yogurt. No sugar just the sweet from the peaches.

We both are doing good with the food.

And one day I'll find out if other dogs sleep like Baby Girl and Sarah.

More tomorrow

Changes are coming

I have come to a place in my life that I need to address.

This blog name has run it's course and I am in the process of starting another blog.

Sometimes we just need help with family members who are older. I myself am not a spring chicken, but I know one day I will need to know that there are people who can keep me happy and socialized and just in a good mood.

So I started this blog -- StayCALM-HaveCourage.  It will be a few days until it's all ready and I will let you know.

I will continue with this blog too, but I will change the things that I blog. 

More later

Alzheimer lets talk about it

This is not an easy thing to talk about, but it's necessary because there is not a family in this country that hasn't had someone in their family that hasn't had this problem.

As Jerry went farther into this disease, I found myself, Not overwhelmed, realy--just a little confused.

The road rage was the first thing that really bothered me. In the book I wrote this---

And then comes the driving, actually, not driving episode.

Driving was an adventure to be nice about it. I looked up one day and he was striding the white line down the middle of the road.

You’ll get put in jail for reckless driving—I said.

No answer.

Why don’t you move over to the right—I said.

I have it—he said

What do you have—I asked.

I can get to one side or the other and they can’t get in front of me—he said

Road rage!!!

I talked to the kids and they agreed that he didn’t need to be driving. I thought and prayed because for some reason he wouldn’t let me drive when he was home—and now I was going to have to take the keys away from him. Then God told me—it’s time. I began asking him to let me drive so I could get used to it again in case I needed to drive. That was ok with him.

A month or two went around. He had begun helping me by cleaning the kitchen after I cooked and then put dishes in the dishwasher. I cooked, and he cleaned. He came into the living room from the kitchen ne night. I could tell he was upset. He got half way into the room and putting his fist to his hip asked, “why can’t I drive.”

I was almost too firm when I told him that I was getting tired of having to tell him which way to turn or to go straight. But that wasn’t what he wanted to hear. This is where it was all God’s words. I took a big deep breath and said,” if you want to drive, just answer me this.”

Chapter 20

I asked him to tell me my name including my maiden name AND my birthday. Just like God told me to ask. Not loud, no sarcasm, no tears, just asking a question. I waited until he said,” well it is what it is.” “My name is not, it is what it is” I replied. He grinned and went and finished in the kitchen. I knew that asking for him to say my maiden name would be hard for him, as my maiden name is Kretsinger. He never did say it right. He told me he had to marry me, so he could say my last name—which was my married name by then.

And that’s when I was wondering if he didn’t know who I was. He knew he liked me, but he didn’t know that I was his wife. And yes, I cried about that. A lot. I still think about those times, of course, because he has not been in Heaven even a year. I wondered why he would not be upset when we got in the bed together. Because he didn’t know that I was his wife or even my name why would he not be upset when I got into the bed too. I did a lot of prayer about that. God told me this after that prayer was sent up to Him.

Don’t worry. It’s ok. He knows you in his being. He knows you love him and he knows that it’s what he needs. Your—meaning me—presence keeps him calm and as strong as he can be.

The next couple of days I kept those tears in but one day they dripped out anyway. I started out of the house, so he wouldn’t see me crying. He came and slowly and tenderly, turned me around and hugged me close, and gave me a kiss. Even though he didn’t remember my name, he was still taking care of me.

More tomorrow

Alzheimer-Jerry and me

I’ve about decided that Dad was a house flipper.   I remember lots of houses over lots of years. The house I remember best is the one in Los Angeles in the area that was Culver City at that time but is now Universal City. If I’m wrong about that let me know. Down the street from our house was a lot. LOTS of weeds and LOTS of concrete walkways. Something new and exciting. Something for a lonely young girl to keep her imagination going. The stories I would make up about why the concrete walkways were there. Millions of reasons. Why would someone put this amazing puzzle so close to our house? It was a wonderful place for me to be. Did I even think that this was someone else’s? No, it didn’t even occur to me. Was I worried I would get into trouble. Never. I don’t remember how long it took for someone else to find my spot. I was walking the walkways when this man hollered. He came to where I was and told me that those walkways were foundations for new homes. I was not supposed to be there as I could get hurt---I had to go home—but I didn’t have to like it.

Those twists and turns were a lot like a maze. Twist here and then go a little way—twist again and go the other way. Dead ends. Weeds. Trash. Those concrete walkways had grabbed hold of my imagination and would not let me go.

After a week or two, of course, back I went. The concrete walkways were calling my name.

The day I went back there were four boys picking up pieces of concrete and throwing them at each other. I was watching them just like I watched Phil and his friends. Little did I suspect what was coming. One of them saw me and said, “what are you doing in our fort?” They told me I had to go home; this was THEIR fort.

I stood there thinking I had as much right as they did to be there. I decided I was gonna stay. Then I became the target. Pieces of concrete flew by my head. Some of them hit in front of me. I got scared and ran home crying. Phil went there and put a hurt on those guys. And as far as I can remember, he did more than just talk to them. Dad had taught him to box and he was making good use of his teaching. There we were—Phil, four boys and me—and then THE men showed up. After Phil talked to the men we had to go home. I never saw those boys again. Phil to the rescue once more.

The next day, mom was cleaning out the fish pond. As I have said before--I was a nosey little person.  The ways of the fish and how the water ran through and around the pond, how it got up to the waterfall—it all fascinated me. I figured the best way to find out was to get into the water and follow the flow. WRONG!

In I went. I got about half way around before something started nibbling me. The closer I got to the other side of the waterfall the more it stung. I heard mom call my name. I could tell from the tone of her voice that I was NOT supposed to be in the fish pond. Oh man, I’d done it again! My curiosity had gotten me in trouble AGAIN. I found out that you don’t walk in water that is close to electricity. If the wires get frayed even a little it can shock you. It fascinated me that the fish weren’t nipping me it was the electricity. I also learned that the electricity was needed to make the water go back up the waterfall, so it could come down again. The things you can learn when you ask questions—or ramble around until you find out something new.

Well, I never did that again either; nor was I allowed to help finish cleaning that waterfall.

Some more houses. New kid on the block again. By myself again. No one to skate with or play dolls with. No one to talk to.

It was me-just me. I was having to learn to depend on myself.

Somewhere between the beach and Eagle Rock, Phil and I went to summer camp. Things were not so much fun at home. There was screaming and slapping at night. Lots of nights. It got so bad that I would climb into bed with Phil. He would pull me close and put his arm around me. Dad started taking us to the baseball games when the LA Angels were in town. We’d get home and it would start all over again.

That summer we were sent off to camp. I can only imagine how bad it was at home for dad to send us off like that. I do remember getting letters from dad, but I couldn’t read them because I could only read printing. The lady in the room kept telling me that she would read them to me, but she didn’t have time. And they stayed in my bag for the rest of the time we were there.

Do I remember anything about camp? Yes, I do, but not much. Memories include singing around the firepit at night. Crafts and bows and arrows. Playing in the lake. That’s when I found out fish pee in the water. Uggg!! AND we were swimming in that water!

It was the night of all nights. I suppose that being away from home had me worried. That night Phil was sitting across from me--my world lit up. Phil was there!! I was so happy. My Phil was there to be with me for dinner. And then they brought out the food. Someone put these green things on my plate. Slimy, fuzzy green food looks VERY unappetizing to a child whose life has been turned upside down. As they say it today I had “issues”—I’d say I was extremely afraid because my life was so hurtful. I, to this day do not eat fuzzy food.

I screamed. I cried. I ran out of the room. I’ve always been dramatic and obviously this was one of the best because I remember it after seventy years. Phil came running after me. Grabbed me and all I can remember anyone saying is---that’s the kids with parents who are getting a divorce, right? I had no clue what a divorce was. Phil told me something and I calmed down. We went back into the dining hall. I still wouldn’t eat any of that fuzzy green stuff! NO WAY.

The letters. AHHH the letters, from dad, finally. The letters that the counselor didn’t have time to read to me—or even find someone else to read to me. Finally, someone read my letters the day we were to leave. The major part was about what was going on at home. All good. Last sentence tells me to get on the bus home with Phil. That bus had already left. They put me on the other bus that went to a different part of LA. Of course, I didn’t know that at the time. Phil wasn’t there when I got off the bus. I had no idea where he was. I cried hot huge tears. Dad FINALLY showed up with Phil.

I cried--- again.

Dad was—of course—mad. But for some reason I knew he wasn’t mad at Phil or me. The car was an old one and going up Mount Wilson was not good on cars anyway. And another reason for him to be mad—he didn’t know where we were for a very long time. It was traumatic for all of us. I was wondering where mom was. This must have happened sometime in 1947. There was no divorce. But, I was anxious about that for a long time.

Nana--lots to think about

Yes there is LOTS to think about.

What am I supposed to do? My pastor says to pray -- I already do that. My friends say to go on trips.
I like going but not all the time.

I have started the blog again and I really like that, and some days finish a piece or two. And I might even start on a third.

I got a lot to talk about and some to just write about and then there are the days I just can't think of anything to put out there.

Today is a "put it out there" day-really appreciate the way the kids ---

I don't cooking as much as I thought I would. Cooking for one is for the BIRDS.

I like the way the kids help me. I feel so blessed because I know there are lots of  people whose kids don't even call--or they don't call mom or dad back.

Hot weather is not my favorite.  I really like cold better because i can put on lots more clothes than I can take off.
.
I wonder about a lot of things I never thought about before. I wonder why I don't call my friends like most women do.  After thinking about that for months I have decided it's because I've spent most of my life by myself. I'm not mad or sad about that--it's just how it was. But now I can call because it's just me and I'm not moving. The only way I can remember to call is make a list for that day and call. I

It's so much fun to talk to women. Betty makes quilts for her great grands for Christmas. She makes the most beautiful quilts, So, I ask her how she does this or that. She always makes coffee or tea.  She makes the BEST tea---oh it's so yummy. And she uses dried tea. You know the kind that comes in a bottle. It tastes like my mom made with boiled water and teabags in that water for I don't know how long.

Well, I don't make a good tea with boiled tea bags, or even like Betty does. But I figured out how to make good tea.

Get yourself a quart container. fill it full of water. Put in two of the big tea bags and put it in the fridge for four hours at least.

Not, that tea tastes good.

Learning how to stand up

Jerry passed away two years ago. I had my grief period. He was at home until his last three weeks on earth.

I had been told the areas of grief, I just didn't think I would be so mad. But this last October to January I was extremely mad about some of the things he did--or didn't do--for me, and for the kids.

And then I realized that I was more mad at myself for not speaking up for myself and for the kids. It's not like he would be abusive, he just worked all the time.

He had a list every day of before breakfast things to do, after breakfast things to do, after lunch things to do, and after supper things to do. And none of it would include the kids or me. I did get tired of that and figured out a way to make him change his mind a little.

When the first STAR WARS came out we were living in Great Yarmouth England. The kids wanted to go see that movie and so did I.

I asked him at breakfast if he would take us to the movie that night and he said no because that kinda movie was not real like the westerns are. I didn't say anything else about it.

We had a really good supper--if I remember right it was steak, mashed potato, macaroni and cheese and ice cream for dessert. He was happy

I went and changed my clothes and the kids came down the stairs.

I asked him if he wanted to go with us to the movie and he said "no".

I got the car keys and said "we'll see you when it's over".

"What  do you mean?"

I said, "I told the kids we were going tonight and you can go with us if you want to."

He got up, combed his hair and off we went. He really enjoyed that movie.

No screaming or making him feel bad, just a little assertiveness.

Works most every time.

When I remembered that I realized that I had been only thinking about when we first married and I was just the "little wife". Did what he said and put up with his workaholic ways.

And then I learned how I could be myself and still spoil him rotten.

More Tomorrow

Nana to the Rescue

There is a time in my life that is dark. So much so that I am finding it difficult to write about.

My mom was an alcoholic.  Dad told me when I reached teen years just how bad it had been. I still cry when I think about how much of her was wasted. I see these people who are crack heads and it literally makes me want to throw up. I'm not saying that i'm better than anyone, all I'm saying is that they have not realized how much any addiction affects everyone that person knows.

Enough of that or I will cry right here in front of this computer.

I have about decided that mom was sick for three or four years before she died.  I really don't know because dad never talked about any of that. He just told me that he had paid off her medical bills and the funeral expenses.

Here I was, nine years old, and had no clue that mom was sick. So when she died it really tore my heart out. Mom was an alcoholic but she was a good mom.  She loved to read. It was the days before TV. Radio had programs all day. "Fibber McGee and Mollie-Dick Tracey-Abbott and Costello-baseball games--Guiding Light--Stella Dallas" and during the war nightly reports about what was going on in the Pacific and Europe. Mom had her programs she listened to, and then in the afternoon she would read.

I, on the other hand had a lot to say and wanted answers as soon as possible. She would be reading and I would run to her to ask a question or whatever, and she would pull me close, put her arm around me and hold on until she got to a stopping point in her book.

The love that showed me still fills me with contentment. I did the same when our kids were younger. They knew I loved them but I had something to cook or fix or whatever mom's have to do. My kids, who are now adults with kids of their own, call me almost every day. They mow the yard and fix things for me, and all because I showed them when they were little just how much they sere loved.

And then mom died. Wheeeew. It's hard even to type that.

Mom died when  I was nine. In the Summer. Grams and Aunt Lillian and Uncle Bill came to LA to be with dad during the funeral and then when they went back to Dallas--Phil and I went too.

I was mouthy. I didn't like being away from all that I knew, but, at nine you don't have much of a say so, especially in the 1951.

We moved in with Grams and Dad was in LA getting the house sold and all the other things that had to be done. I don't remember when he got to Dallas, but he did YouHaul and all.

He unloaded the trailor, on a Saturday and Phil and I helped. I kept looking for Sally, my beautiful doll. I asked dad where she was and he told me that he didn't have the space to bring her with him. I was so upset.

My baby was left in LA. My mom was not with us she was gone too. I didn't know until I wrote the book that on that day I put a wall up because I didn't or couldn't handle life without Mom and Sally. They were both taken from me in the same year.

And now I can cry about it because the wall is not there anymore.

More tomorrow

NanaGBanana

A new name for a new start!
I've decided to put on this blog the things I left out of the book. Things about Phil and me--things about mom and dad--things that just make me smile.

When I was in kindergarten--where ever that was--we had swings. Not kiddie with the slings to sit on and the seats that have a back on them and a strap across the front to keep kids from falling off the swing. Nor did the people who pushed the swing just barely pushed the swing.

Back in 1944 or 45, when I was in kindergarten we had SWINGS. The girls who watched us as we were on the playground would push as high as we wanted to go. One day I remember telling that girl that I wanted to look over the top. I grabbed that rope and held on and she pushed and I saw over the top. 

Scared me spit less!

Once was enough. My stomach almost got the best of me. After that she taught me how to make the swing go. It's amazing how much co-ordination it takes to make a swing go. I still remember the euphoria I had when that swing went because I had learned how to make it go back and forth!! I had learned how to do something for myself! Then I started jumping out of the swing and landing on my feet. Another feeling of confidence. I had learned how to do something for myself. Talk about strutting back into the classroom.

Somewhere down the road, in a different school and probably second or third grade, I got in trouble for talking too much to the girl next to me. Yes, I admit that I like to talk; I learned how not to talk in the classroom that day. The teacher made me stand in the corner of the room, at the front of the room, and stand in the trash can. Believe it or not, I, to this day, do not talk in a class unless the teacher asks me a question.

In another school, this was in Dallas, fourth grade I think. Every morning our class had a time in the auditorium. In junior high, or middle school, it would be called homeroom. Well, that teacher was a wise woman and had us do things on that stage instead of just sitting there and causing trouble. It was the days of "I Love Lucy" and it was fun to replay some of the shows as we remembered. This is when I learned I was a clown at heart. I was Ethel. The sidekick. The one that was going to do what Lucy said no matter what.

Fun and a learning situation. Being in front of people does not bother me. Well, sometimes.


More tomorrow

NanaG or NanaBanana each Great Grand has given me a name.

One thing about being a Nana is that it's easy to say. Much much easier than- Grandmother how are you today?

When I was a kid we called my dad's mom Grams. I don't remember ever seeing mom's dad or mother. As I have gotten older I really want more than just pictures. Before my brother, Phil, passed he made this beautiful book that had a story type genealogy that included maps and family pictures. I would never attempt something like that. But with all that went on with us it really congeals the family. I knew my dad's family because we made that trip from LA to Dallas most every Christmas.
Most of the time we would start the trip on Christmas day or the day after.

On one trip I remember laying in the floor of the back seat of the car. We always would travel at night. I think because it was so very hot in the Mojave desert in the day so we go through at night. One time I woke up to LIGHTS--lots of lights! The next morning I asked dad about those lights and he tells me that was Las Vegas lights. I don't think we went back there again at night.

When we got to Dallas, we were at Grams and Gramps house. A big house with lots of room for us too. Now Grams was a very confident woman and she expected all of us who were in that house to help. It was time to get the chicken ready to cook.  It was my turn to help.

HELP!!!!

She was trying to teach me how to wring a chicken neck. She grabbed that chicken left hand held the chicken -- right hand had the neck.

SQUACK!!!

Then silence!

She put that chicken on the ground and it fluttered and rolled and finally died. She plucked that chicken til there was not a feather left.

I cried. Grams walked back into the house and made me wash that chicken. Then she taught me how to cut one up to fry.

She never said anything about my crying. And I learned the "how to" that I would need years later as I had a family to cook for. Whole chickens were all that we had when I first got married. It was cut that chicken up or roast it. My husband really preferred fried chicken.

My Grams was a great lady with lots of moxy and I really loved her.

More Tomorrow!!!

NanaBanana is no more

Our Lynn got tickets for all of us---Andrew and Brittany and of course Lochlan, her and Keith and me. We went up to OKC and went to the Art Museum.

Degas, Money, Van Gogh and lots of others. Gosh what a day!Paintings that I have only seen in books and mostly in black and white.
were displayed in all their color. The way Van Gogh uses the color to keep your eyes moving around the canvas.

I am so excited about the paintings that are running around in head. Sometimes I cant think of names or words,

 Chihuly fantastic glass things. Glass Persians all over the ceiling as we went down the hallway to the other beautiful things. Beautiful birds made with glass.Two boats full with colors in glass and lite with light. It was like a silent mound of fireworks.

The next floor we saw the exhibit of modern art. I got some really good ideas for future paintings. Can't tell you until I get around to it.

We went to either a late lunch or an early supper at this place that smelled so good! Lots of yummyness!!  PIZZA! Don't get a large one because it will take you a good week to eat it all-but I think it would be worth for  a good breakfast. 

Then on to the DO-NUT place. The chocolate was really chocolate and the frosting was so chocolatey.  Also yummyness!!

Back to Duncan, with lots of memories. Lachlan had never really been around me, but he climbed into my lap and talked to me. In a little while Britteney tild him I was NanaBanana. He preferred NanaG--so that's what he will call me from now on.

We ran into some - really it was lots of traffic - when e left the museum. The play - Hamilton - had it's last performance yesterday afternoon and I think there much not have been an unused seat. I have heard it was excellent. If you get a chance you should go.

So that was my week end and now begins another week.

NanaBanana--and the termites or whatever that is

Among a lot of other things I paint. When Jerry passed I asked the kids to help me clean out what was supposed to be the winter garden, and never really was, so I could have a studio and not have to paint in the house again.

The studio is connected to the original building that is now a place for small equipment and Christmas lights. And the termites too. There is an awful thing coming to their house--that's the termites I  I mean--their garden will soon be a thing of the past.

The temp has been over 100 every day for i think two weeks. I have not painted because of the heat. Heat and I don't mesh. I've decided that this is my way to spend the summer--in the house and then in the winter I can go out and play in the little bit of snow that southern Oklahoma gets.

Back to the studio---
When we bought the place this room that is falling down was a home for pigeons. We didn't have any but there were lots of nests and feathers that showed the pigeons had in fact lived there for a while.

When we got our first Harley we needed a place for the Harley to stay while Jerry was gone overseas. He opened the door that opened to the driveway. Two wide doors and the bike went right on into the room and stayed out of the house and rain. I had a small 250 Suzuki and it went in there too.
When we moved to Texas for that little while, I took my bike and his and we would take short trips. There is nothing like being on a motorcycle.

Back to the Studio!!

I'm thinking about putting that clear stuff that is put on windows to help keep the heat out. I want to paint. I have so many things I want to do.  Butterflies--those pictures of children--my Sarah--my great grand-kids. My cousins and nieces.

I've got a lot to do!!!

NanaBanana--that's me

I have a great grand son who is now 5. Kids are so cute. If parents would only realize that being less of a shrew and more of a quiet person those lovable kids would stay that way.

Long years ago when I was the mother of kids that were before school age, I would watch the afternoon talk shows. these days all I hear is this person is no good or that person slept with me and got me pregnant. And then the fights begin. Where does that get us anyway, this nana says NO WHERE. Arguing to the point of slinging fists does not accomplish anything.

The last fight you had with your spouse or your children, be honest to yourself, what happened. I can tell you-- doors got slammed, someone got a black eye and split lips.No one got any sleep and the baby cried all night from the drama. The next morning the heart ached so much it was almost to the level of breaking into little pieces.

Well, during those years when we were young and had little money and two kids, when I had to have a list of groceries WITH cost so I could save enough to at least feed the kids and the husband, I saw this man who talked about how to get things done without all the extreme drama that fighting causes.

He was talking about teaching kids how to make good decisions for themselves. I found out it works for men and women as much as it does for girls and boys.

His premise was this---
never give them a chance to lie about anything.
never ask them who broke the dish (or threw the rock through the window or whatever has your hair on end) if its two kids or ten, if they were there they are in trouble.
the answer to who did it was and is always -- he did it!
but there were ten kids there. They are all in trouble because the older ones should have gone to mom and told her what was going on. They all go into a different corner, have to look at the wall and this is what you say, "stay there until I can decided what kind of punishment you all deserve." There minds go to --no movies, can't have the phone or the games, or the computer, I can't go out with my friends.
Within the next hour you get them all back together and ask them what did they learn about all that happened. YOU pick out who is to talk first and on down to the end it's your decision. YOU are in charge not the kids who have to learn how to contain themselves. You will find that the person who started the nonsense will tell the group he did it. The others will tell their part in the turmoil and they are really sorry that this happened. The punishment would be no cookies for a week. Or no playing in the water. They have to make sure that the pets water bowls are full with clean water for the week. The reality is--they started something and THEY ended it.

Awesomeness!!

It works as a teacher. It works as a mother in law, it works as a grandma, and I know it will work as a NANA

NanaBanana and Global warming

Long years ago when I was a little kid my dad got a job in Dallas Texas as the WEATHER MAN. They tell us everything that is going on in the world. Where it's raining, where the hurricanes are and the tornadoes, where the wild fires are and the extreme dry almost desert areas are. They let us know when whole towns are desecrated from torrential rains. They tell us what THEY think will happen with the weather in the next five minutes and for the rest of the day until the next time they are on the TV or radio telling that things have changed.

My point is this -- has there ever been a weather man or woman who ALWAYS got it right? You name that person for me, and I will put your name in the next blog.

 I think that this tells me that the weather people read all their data and decide what is gonna happen. They tell us this is what is gonna be going on today outside the home, office, or school.

What they don't say is the fact that the information that they brought to our attention is only what was going on at that time.

Hurricanes are just as likely to swerve away from one part of the presumed pathway to another. It can even become either more violent or less.

Tornadoes have minds of their own. The words coming from the TV tell us they are a fourth of a mile heading out way and yet it's not there it's actually on the south part of town out in the pastures.

I do have a point here.

I've been reading and listening to all this Global weather problem. It's so hot in Germany the Autobaun is melting. It's been three digits of heat in Europe.

Yes it is getting warmer, but----

Thousands of years ago the whole of southern USA was covered in sea water because of melting ice bergs. And then the rain stopped and the water retreated so much so the southwestern part of the USA became mostly desert.

My concern is that we will spend millions on trying to figure out how to control the wind and the snow and the sun instead of preparing what is coming some day in the future. It is gonna happen but even the weather people can't put a day, an hour, a minute, or a second to when it will happen.

So, I'm saying look in a different direction people because we cannot control the weather. We can only control how to live with all the beauty of the spring and all the tornadoes, the cool and cold weather of Winter and the blizzards, the cool summers and the ones that keep 120 degees on the thermometer for three months, and the beautiful fall colors and the times when all of the beauty goes down the drain and we have to live through the bad stuff.

When it gets really dab--what is your survival pattern set up for. To tell the truth when the next global weather change happens it will take thousands of years to come to an end. But we still need to prepare and be aware of whats happening at your neck of the woods.

NanaBanana

News from NanaBanana

Our Lynn had  knee scope on Monday. Tuesday was the first day after the scope and the first day of rehab. No weight baring for four months--at the very least.

Our Lynn is a lot like her dad was. Out in Farmington NM the guys at the Halliburton camp put up speed signs to remind Jerry that the speed limit was only 15 miles an hours in the lot. He walked fast.  I kinda learned from him and he learned from his dad.

After living with a father that thought the sidewalk was a NASCAR racetrack, Lynn is having trouble being slow on those crutches, to the point that -- well it;s just scary she is so fast on them. No rehab tomorrow so she will have some time to rest her muscles.

I know without a doubt that the Fairy Princess runs in February will see Our Lynn pacing herself so she can get another tatoo of Mickey Mouse on her ankle.

There for a while Andrew ran with them and then it has only been Nonie and Lynn. They both ran 19.3 miles this last February. I didn't go to the place because there is no where to sit because everyone there is going to run.

She goes to boot camp three nights a week and keeps herself in shape. So proud. I've even gotten to the gym myself. Made it yesterday for the treadmill yesterday and I'll go again tomorrow and then Sunday afternoon.

While my husband was so ill, I didn't do much and I lost a lot of muscle so I'm working out now.

I really enjoy going there because all the staff is so helpful and kinda laid back, but so willing to help when I need it. So if you want to work out find the one like I go to--Planet Fitness. I really like it. And by the way, they don't know I've put this in the blog.

I used to run up and down the stairs and climb onto the counter to clean the cupboards. Mow the grass and carry 300 feet of hose from the only water hydrant we had so I could water the garden, so I didn't need a workout place, but I sure do now..

Let you know how things go tomorrow at PF.

NanaBanana

NanaBanana--the birthday party

I was invited to my adopted sisters granddaughters birthday for last Saturday.

Do you remember going to the side show and it was filled with mirrors and you had a hard--extremely hard time finding your way out?

Saturday that's the way it felt for me. I went round and round the merry go round. It wasn't really the merry go round but real close. I must and gone around all the buildings at the fair grounds at least fourteen times.  It was at least 120 degrees so it was HOT. O never did find them there.

I had to come home and send Martina a phone call to tell her I was not feeling well and that I would go to her house on Sunday and take the gift.

She didn't find my message until she got back from the movie she and her family went to. So I missed the birthday party AND the movie.

Talk about feeling like a punkin head.

I couldn't go on Monday because my Lynn had knee surgery on Monday which was today. 

Martina and Abrianna I promise that I will be there tomorrow by 3.30.

My husband and Martinas husband cannot understand our relationship. We just clicked and have been close friends ever sense. Sometimes I think that we might really be sisters. I may not call her for weeks and yet when we get together we can talk about good stuff for a long time.

An awesome sistershood.

NanaBanana,

NanaBanana News--Exercise

Last week I started working out with the trainer at the gym. She is very good about asking questions that tells her what I needed to start with. Five minutes on the treadmill, 15 pushes on the other things for the quads and the cardio and the chest and the butt. Oh, my, so much to remember The days were Monday and Tuesday and Then Thursday. Friday it was good. Saturday, I had to get the cane out again and today also.

Trainer at the gym will have to take the time for me to tell her what's been going on with my lower back. I have a feeling that she knows EXACTLY what is needed. Of course, I probably will find it hurts for a little while and before those 15 reps are over it will feel a whole lot better.

I've been looking at the outfits that the girls wear to work out. I mean, ummm, I can't wear thinks like that. Not that I have seen anything revealing (that's not allowed in this gym), but it's all at knee height and well fitting t-shirts. 

Have you ever seen an old ladies legs? I don't have cellulite or scars, but I do have spider veins all up and down my legs. I mean really--who wants to show off legs that look like I got a lot of bad tattoos. I think this is a family trait because my dad's sister and her daughter had the same thing. So, I wear capris and baggy t-shirts and come home and put something else on.

Since I don't sweat much, I don't need to take a shower and wash my hair. If I need to stop at the bank or run into the grocery store for something to cook I can do that.

To sum this all up----
I need to workout or treadmill it every day but Sunday and maybe even then as they are open til 7 then---I need to drink lots of water and eat well and I will live to be a much older old lady

NanaBanana 

Three Times with the trainer.

Today was a doozie! All these machines that are so far off the ground that I have to almost jump into
seats. Here I am swinging my feet off--not touching the floor. I am so glad that the trainer was not around calling me "Sweetie or Honey" . I'm not six I'm a great grandma. I like being a grandma and then when the gg's came along it just got better.

But back to the gym. This one has those treadmills that look like a giant should be using them--and imagine that some of the guys are tall. Me? I'm five foot two. But that's better than mom--she was four foot eleven. Missed the treadmill today so maybe tomorrow.

I was waiting for the trainer and before she got the other person she is training, this guy who was so full of himself, came to the door and opened it with his shoe--that was on his feet. I don't know if he was just tired or he did it to get everyone's attention. I looked around and no one's eyes were  following him as he left the parking spot--or even the parking lot.
Then on to the torture --no not really, but I must admit that that was going thru my mind.

First one was as far away from the front door as you can be. I looked up and saw the sign on the door--EXIT that;s what was painted with a big brush with obviously black paint on it.

I got into the first machine of the day and worked on the front's of my legs. Did good. Next machine was to work on the backs of your legs. Not bad. I knew as soon as she brought out those dumbbells I was in trouble. One for each hand. Got the knees relaxed after I had a good talk with them, and then it was straight out with the bells and back again SLOWLY.

Did that ten times. not too bad either. Then we held onto a--like a chair--and mad our feet look like a fourth of a pizza. And then that a food and swing it up and back down SLOWLY.

I think it was the SLOWLY part that was making it harder to do.

I betcha that doing things like that is what's gonnsa get me back into shape.

NanaBanana telling it like it is

NanaBanana News----Gym!

I might not like this next week.  Well, to tell the truth I know I will not think that cardio and chest exercise is something that I REALY want to do. I've always been active just not in the gym. When we lives in England I carried the six bags of groceries to the car twice a week. I ran up the stairs and down the stairs without falling.

Now, not so much running -- mostly sitting on my bum and reading, knitting, crocheting, or thinking about the next painting that is almost ready to be taken to the studio to be painted.

My husband had dementia that turned into Alzheimer's, and for six years or something like that I spent all my time preparing food, getting drinks, milk shakes, meds, bathing him and all the other things that have to be done by the family caregiver.

I am so glad that I had those last few months with him. He had digressed back into a two year old, but he smiled a lot and I sat and watched him a lot. He got his days and nights mixed up. 

And because I didn't climb the stairs to the upstairs rooms five or six times a day, or run out to the garage, or stand while I canned vegetables. I lost a goodly amount of muscle.

Hence the time at the guy. It took me two years to get enough strength to even think about stepping foot into a gym. The one I'm going to has trainers there that will help me. I don't really want to have huge arms and legs. I just want to be not so jiggley. You ladies know what I mean. Think--the underarms that flap and almost hit you in the nose. The blobs that swish against each other as we walk. Or have the "no breath" syndrome from bringing in the groceries so I can put them away.
In other words I want a body that looks good and can take care of business without having to take a nap every afternoon.

I will keep you advised.

More later, Nana

Have you ever?

Have you ever--cooked a dinner that you had to throw out after the first bite because it was SOOOO bad?
Have you ever--taken a bath in a cattle tank.
Have you ever--done to sleep dreaming about your mother.
Have you ever--had the chance to drive a fork lift
Have you ever--looked up from stop at a stop light and even tough your side of the light had three lanes, right across there was only two lanes.
Have you ever--have you ever been in an airport where there were armed soldiers always in your eyesight
Have you ever--had to make someone mad because they wanted you to watch a movie that you knew you wouldn't like.

I have.
The food was in New Mexico.  A new cookbook and that means new recipes. This particular one was so bad that I tore the whole recipe OUT of the book after I had cleared the table and made us grilled cheese sandwiches.

The cattle tank was at a friends grandmas house when we were kids. We had been playing in the dirt and grandma wouldn't let us in until we took a bath.

When I was 25, and I began dreaming about my mom. For a whole week I dreamed about her. It was both a sad thing but also a happy one. Mom died when I was nine, and I hadn't seen here or a picture of her in eleven years. Soothing. I want my kids to have pictures of both Jerry and me so they can take a peek when they need to.

I  got to drive a fork life in Tunisia when Jerry got called out and needed to gather up some heavy equipment. The man that did that for a job was out of town. I was then next best I guess. Anyway we got the truck filled with the equipment and pn his way into the Sahara he went.

When out Lynn was 16, she went to France for a week. It really sounds like a big problem but we were living in England at the time so it wasn't. The trip home from London was another thing--I found myself on the route around London. Stopped at a stop light. And yes there was the two lanes directly across street. Lynn said,"that's ok mom, I've got this. She put her food on the dash board and pulled up the leg of her jeans and then fiddled with her sock. The man driving the truck next to us didn't get off at quickly as he thought he would so we made it across. No problem.

The airport was one in Amsterdam, wonderful open area. Huge. There had been some terrorist seen in country so every five minutes two soldiers would pass in front of us. One that kept sweeping the area with his eyes and the other with a drawn rifle and his finger in the trigger.

I took my children to see Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka. It scared me so much I woke up screaming. That was years ago, and then my friend insisted that I watch a movie that I knew I would be having nightmares from. I had to make her really mad to leave it alone. I can't see the reason why someone would think it's OK to purposely watch a movie or read a book that gmeives me nightmares.

Abortion

The first time I heard of abortion was when I was in grade school and I heard Dad and uncle Bill talking about abortion. A teacher was pregnant and found out the baby was dead. So she had an abortion. She had to go to some European country to have it done because that was not allowed in the US.
Now it seems as if Abortion has taken over the country. Abortions, or as I think of it (MURDER) can be done even after birth.
At birth the baby is breathing and crying and squirming. Everything that a new born baby does.
How can anyone murder a baby on purpose? How can they snuff out a life without taking part of their soul?
You know that during the second world war people where slaughtered, poisoned, left to die in their bunks, and in other ways disposed of. Those of us who grew up during the 40s and 50s heard about what went on from all the military that had been there and seen it. Not only thousands of Jews but Polish and Germans and French and all peoples were murdered during that war. And those who saw, talked so that mass murder would not be allowed in the US.
I think that allowing that many abortions is mass murder.
With the amount of birth control wills, and all the rest--use that for birth control and not abortion. And if a man is know to rape a lot have him get his tubes tied and the women also. There are lots of ways to keep from murdering babies.
Why should all the mothers and fathers be told to abort, when it's really not a necessity.
Lets keep population down pills, and tubes tied, and let them live a life without the memory of an act so vile as abortion. 

I don’t understand

Ok this is my understanding. 

In California and New York babies can and will be aborted so the numbers of persons will be acceptable by their political people. 

That’s the way I understand it. 

So, if that’s true and the population is getting to be too heavy for the space in both those places—

Why do they want to bring into the country more people that are not citizens? 

If we have to abort babies in California and New York it seems to me to be just a replacement of people. Babies for illegals

That doesn’t make sense to me. 

“They” were right— this time

Long years ago, probably 1990, the weatherman kept telling us for days that we would have ONLY a quarter of an inch of snow. Nothing to be worried about.
So I didn’t get worried.
And then I got up and looked out the kitchen window.
I couldn’t see anything on the bbq grill but the very top on the smoke stack.
Sixteen—that’s 16– inches of snow. In southern Oklahoma in March !!
Since then I have been skeptical of any possible or not so possible snow coming our way.
Friday night into Saturday early morning we had about a half inch of ice and snow. It was
even enough warm that we could sit on the porch and watch the dogs play.

It's now Sunday, we've had beautiful sunshine and -- you guess it -- the dogs took over the warm spot where the sunshine came into the house.

I've found an agent that I will be sending soon parts of the book and then wait for a while until they have a chance to read it.

It's so true and raw. I might start putting pages on the blog to see what you all think. And yet, do I want to do that because someone might not like it at all.

Ill let you know if I decide to put some of the book on here.

Later, Linda

It’s a British Day Today

The sky is gray all the way to the ground!
Cars are hurrying to get to work.
Sarah’s begging for some peanut butter toast!
It’s a Beautiful day today!!

The fog didn't leave until about noon. It was still a little foggy but not enough to keep me in the house. I was beginning to get CABIN fever.

It Really is Winter

I know that it is  JANUARY. I realize that.


But.....This is Oklahoma.


It's not supposed to be gray skied EVERY day. We are supposed to have a nice warm day of about 70degrees every so often.


But this every day of sprinkles and rain. We are not supposed to have days that don't get over 33degrees.


I think those guys who keep spouting about GLOBAY WARMING need to come to Oklahoma and bring us a little of that warm for just a day or two.

LED and iphone

I have an iPhone. That’s not really unusual these days. A lot of people have them.
One thing I don’t like is the stupid music on the games I play on the phone. Really stupid music. So I turn off the sound so it won’t make me climb a tree!!
I’ve been looking for months for the button that is pushed in order to make the LED light and vibrate works when the phone alerts me.
Just a few minutes ago I found it hiding in Settings under Accessibility at the bottom of the list.
Just a heads up
If you’re looking for that way to still be able to know some one is calling or a text has gotten through without all the awful music playing in the background--now you know

Today is a Beautiful day

I know that’s it’s only 40 degrees. I know that the sun is covered with cloud but today is beautiful. 

It's Been a Long Time

It has been way too many months since I wrote anything, except the book. My husband passed on August 5, 2017, and since then I have been correlating and writing a book about how God prepared me to be his caregiver when he got the dementia.

 I know that some of you will not understand that, and that's ok as this blog is about my life.

Jerry was a farm kid. Always lived in the same community. He had 12 kids he went to school with from the first grade until they all graduated High school.
I envied him that, because I went to 26 schools and remember just a few of the people that I went to school and if it weren't for Facebook I would know nothing of them still.

I got the book finished just last Monday . It was as if a boulder had come off my shoulders. I typed what He told me too and I know it's what needed to be said.

On the first page...
Because of this adventure, Jerry and I are on, I have found out that what I learned and went through as a child made me into who I am now.

Another couple paragraphs and this...
How did all this become me? How does it combine itself into the confident person who takes care of Jerry during his good days and bad? It's been an awesome seventy-five years.

There will be more little snippets of the book maybe. If it fits into that days ramblings.

Ramblings like this--Today it is cold. By the middle of the week it's supposed to in the mid 60s. And that's a lot better that 40 and below.

More Later, Linda