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I have a great grand son who is now 5. Kids are so cute. If parents would only realize that being less of a shrew and more of a quiet person those lovable kids would stay that way.
Long years ago when I was the mother of kids that were before school age, I would watch the afternoon talk shows. these days all I hear is this person is no good or that person slept with me and got me pregnant. And then the fights begin. Where does that get us anyway, this nana says NO WHERE. Arguing to the point of slinging fists does not accomplish anything.
The last fight you had with your spouse or your children, be honest to yourself, what happened. I can tell you-- doors got slammed, someone got a black eye and split lips.No one got any sleep and the baby cried all night from the drama. The next morning the heart ached so much it was almost to the level of breaking into little pieces.
Well, during those years when we were young and had little money and two kids, when I had to have a list of groceries WITH cost so I could save enough to at least feed the kids and the husband, I saw this man who talked about how to get things done without all the extreme drama that fighting causes.
He was talking about teaching kids how to make good decisions for themselves. I found out it works for men and women as much as it does for girls and boys.
His premise was this---
never give them a chance to lie about anything.
never ask them who broke the dish (or threw the rock through the window or whatever has your hair on end) if its two kids or ten, if they were there they are in trouble.
the answer to who did it was and is always -- he did it!
but there were ten kids there. They are all in trouble because the older ones should have gone to mom and told her what was going on. They all go into a different corner, have to look at the wall and this is what you say, "stay there until I can decided what kind of punishment you all deserve." There minds go to --no movies, can't have the phone or the games, or the computer, I can't go out with my friends.
Within the next hour you get them all back together and ask them what did they learn about all that happened. YOU pick out who is to talk first and on down to the end it's your decision. YOU are in charge not the kids who have to learn how to contain themselves. You will find that the person who started the nonsense will tell the group he did it. The others will tell their part in the turmoil and they are really sorry that this happened. The punishment would be no cookies for a week. Or no playing in the water. They have to make sure that the pets water bowls are full with clean water for the week. The reality is--they started something and THEY ended it.
Awesomeness!!
It works as a teacher. It works as a mother in law, it works as a grandma, and I know it will work as a NANA
Long years ago when I was the mother of kids that were before school age, I would watch the afternoon talk shows. these days all I hear is this person is no good or that person slept with me and got me pregnant. And then the fights begin. Where does that get us anyway, this nana says NO WHERE. Arguing to the point of slinging fists does not accomplish anything.
The last fight you had with your spouse or your children, be honest to yourself, what happened. I can tell you-- doors got slammed, someone got a black eye and split lips.No one got any sleep and the baby cried all night from the drama. The next morning the heart ached so much it was almost to the level of breaking into little pieces.
Well, during those years when we were young and had little money and two kids, when I had to have a list of groceries WITH cost so I could save enough to at least feed the kids and the husband, I saw this man who talked about how to get things done without all the extreme drama that fighting causes.
He was talking about teaching kids how to make good decisions for themselves. I found out it works for men and women as much as it does for girls and boys.
His premise was this---
never give them a chance to lie about anything.
never ask them who broke the dish (or threw the rock through the window or whatever has your hair on end) if its two kids or ten, if they were there they are in trouble.
the answer to who did it was and is always -- he did it!
but there were ten kids there. They are all in trouble because the older ones should have gone to mom and told her what was going on. They all go into a different corner, have to look at the wall and this is what you say, "stay there until I can decided what kind of punishment you all deserve." There minds go to --no movies, can't have the phone or the games, or the computer, I can't go out with my friends.
Within the next hour you get them all back together and ask them what did they learn about all that happened. YOU pick out who is to talk first and on down to the end it's your decision. YOU are in charge not the kids who have to learn how to contain themselves. You will find that the person who started the nonsense will tell the group he did it. The others will tell their part in the turmoil and they are really sorry that this happened. The punishment would be no cookies for a week. Or no playing in the water. They have to make sure that the pets water bowls are full with clean water for the week. The reality is--they started something and THEY ended it.
Awesomeness!!
It works as a teacher. It works as a mother in law, it works as a grandma, and I know it will work as a NANA
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