Alzheimer lets talk about it

This is not an easy thing to talk about, but it's necessary because there is not a family in this country that hasn't had someone in their family that hasn't had this problem.

As Jerry went farther into this disease, I found myself, Not overwhelmed, realy--just a little confused.

The road rage was the first thing that really bothered me. In the book I wrote this---

And then comes the driving, actually, not driving episode.

Driving was an adventure to be nice about it. I looked up one day and he was striding the white line down the middle of the road.

You’ll get put in jail for reckless driving—I said.

No answer.

Why don’t you move over to the right—I said.

I have it—he said

What do you have—I asked.

I can get to one side or the other and they can’t get in front of me—he said

Road rage!!!

I talked to the kids and they agreed that he didn’t need to be driving. I thought and prayed because for some reason he wouldn’t let me drive when he was home—and now I was going to have to take the keys away from him. Then God told me—it’s time. I began asking him to let me drive so I could get used to it again in case I needed to drive. That was ok with him.

A month or two went around. He had begun helping me by cleaning the kitchen after I cooked and then put dishes in the dishwasher. I cooked, and he cleaned. He came into the living room from the kitchen ne night. I could tell he was upset. He got half way into the room and putting his fist to his hip asked, “why can’t I drive.”

I was almost too firm when I told him that I was getting tired of having to tell him which way to turn or to go straight. But that wasn’t what he wanted to hear. This is where it was all God’s words. I took a big deep breath and said,” if you want to drive, just answer me this.”

Chapter 20

I asked him to tell me my name including my maiden name AND my birthday. Just like God told me to ask. Not loud, no sarcasm, no tears, just asking a question. I waited until he said,” well it is what it is.” “My name is not, it is what it is” I replied. He grinned and went and finished in the kitchen. I knew that asking for him to say my maiden name would be hard for him, as my maiden name is Kretsinger. He never did say it right. He told me he had to marry me, so he could say my last name—which was my married name by then.

And that’s when I was wondering if he didn’t know who I was. He knew he liked me, but he didn’t know that I was his wife. And yes, I cried about that. A lot. I still think about those times, of course, because he has not been in Heaven even a year. I wondered why he would not be upset when we got in the bed together. Because he didn’t know that I was his wife or even my name why would he not be upset when I got into the bed too. I did a lot of prayer about that. God told me this after that prayer was sent up to Him.

Don’t worry. It’s ok. He knows you in his being. He knows you love him and he knows that it’s what he needs. Your—meaning me—presence keeps him calm and as strong as he can be.

The next couple of days I kept those tears in but one day they dripped out anyway. I started out of the house, so he wouldn’t see me crying. He came and slowly and tenderly, turned me around and hugged me close, and gave me a kiss. Even though he didn’t remember my name, he was still taking care of me.

More tomorrow