Nana to the Rescue

There is a time in my life that is dark. So much so that I am finding it difficult to write about.

My mom was an alcoholic.  Dad told me when I reached teen years just how bad it had been. I still cry when I think about how much of her was wasted. I see these people who are crack heads and it literally makes me want to throw up. I'm not saying that i'm better than anyone, all I'm saying is that they have not realized how much any addiction affects everyone that person knows.

Enough of that or I will cry right here in front of this computer.

I have about decided that mom was sick for three or four years before she died.  I really don't know because dad never talked about any of that. He just told me that he had paid off her medical bills and the funeral expenses.

Here I was, nine years old, and had no clue that mom was sick. So when she died it really tore my heart out. Mom was an alcoholic but she was a good mom.  She loved to read. It was the days before TV. Radio had programs all day. "Fibber McGee and Mollie-Dick Tracey-Abbott and Costello-baseball games--Guiding Light--Stella Dallas" and during the war nightly reports about what was going on in the Pacific and Europe. Mom had her programs she listened to, and then in the afternoon she would read.

I, on the other hand had a lot to say and wanted answers as soon as possible. She would be reading and I would run to her to ask a question or whatever, and she would pull me close, put her arm around me and hold on until she got to a stopping point in her book.

The love that showed me still fills me with contentment. I did the same when our kids were younger. They knew I loved them but I had something to cook or fix or whatever mom's have to do. My kids, who are now adults with kids of their own, call me almost every day. They mow the yard and fix things for me, and all because I showed them when they were little just how much they sere loved.

And then mom died. Wheeeew. It's hard even to type that.

Mom died when  I was nine. In the Summer. Grams and Aunt Lillian and Uncle Bill came to LA to be with dad during the funeral and then when they went back to Dallas--Phil and I went too.

I was mouthy. I didn't like being away from all that I knew, but, at nine you don't have much of a say so, especially in the 1951.

We moved in with Grams and Dad was in LA getting the house sold and all the other things that had to be done. I don't remember when he got to Dallas, but he did YouHaul and all.

He unloaded the trailor, on a Saturday and Phil and I helped. I kept looking for Sally, my beautiful doll. I asked dad where she was and he told me that he didn't have the space to bring her with him. I was so upset.

My baby was left in LA. My mom was not with us she was gone too. I didn't know until I wrote the book that on that day I put a wall up because I didn't or couldn't handle life without Mom and Sally. They were both taken from me in the same year.

And now I can cry about it because the wall is not there anymore.

More tomorrow

NanaGBanana

A new name for a new start!
I've decided to put on this blog the things I left out of the book. Things about Phil and me--things about mom and dad--things that just make me smile.

When I was in kindergarten--where ever that was--we had swings. Not kiddie with the slings to sit on and the seats that have a back on them and a strap across the front to keep kids from falling off the swing. Nor did the people who pushed the swing just barely pushed the swing.

Back in 1944 or 45, when I was in kindergarten we had SWINGS. The girls who watched us as we were on the playground would push as high as we wanted to go. One day I remember telling that girl that I wanted to look over the top. I grabbed that rope and held on and she pushed and I saw over the top. 

Scared me spit less!

Once was enough. My stomach almost got the best of me. After that she taught me how to make the swing go. It's amazing how much co-ordination it takes to make a swing go. I still remember the euphoria I had when that swing went because I had learned how to make it go back and forth!! I had learned how to do something for myself! Then I started jumping out of the swing and landing on my feet. Another feeling of confidence. I had learned how to do something for myself. Talk about strutting back into the classroom.

Somewhere down the road, in a different school and probably second or third grade, I got in trouble for talking too much to the girl next to me. Yes, I admit that I like to talk; I learned how not to talk in the classroom that day. The teacher made me stand in the corner of the room, at the front of the room, and stand in the trash can. Believe it or not, I, to this day, do not talk in a class unless the teacher asks me a question.

In another school, this was in Dallas, fourth grade I think. Every morning our class had a time in the auditorium. In junior high, or middle school, it would be called homeroom. Well, that teacher was a wise woman and had us do things on that stage instead of just sitting there and causing trouble. It was the days of "I Love Lucy" and it was fun to replay some of the shows as we remembered. This is when I learned I was a clown at heart. I was Ethel. The sidekick. The one that was going to do what Lucy said no matter what.

Fun and a learning situation. Being in front of people does not bother me. Well, sometimes.


More tomorrow

NanaG or NanaBanana each Great Grand has given me a name.

One thing about being a Nana is that it's easy to say. Much much easier than- Grandmother how are you today?

When I was a kid we called my dad's mom Grams. I don't remember ever seeing mom's dad or mother. As I have gotten older I really want more than just pictures. Before my brother, Phil, passed he made this beautiful book that had a story type genealogy that included maps and family pictures. I would never attempt something like that. But with all that went on with us it really congeals the family. I knew my dad's family because we made that trip from LA to Dallas most every Christmas.
Most of the time we would start the trip on Christmas day or the day after.

On one trip I remember laying in the floor of the back seat of the car. We always would travel at night. I think because it was so very hot in the Mojave desert in the day so we go through at night. One time I woke up to LIGHTS--lots of lights! The next morning I asked dad about those lights and he tells me that was Las Vegas lights. I don't think we went back there again at night.

When we got to Dallas, we were at Grams and Gramps house. A big house with lots of room for us too. Now Grams was a very confident woman and she expected all of us who were in that house to help. It was time to get the chicken ready to cook.  It was my turn to help.

HELP!!!!

She was trying to teach me how to wring a chicken neck. She grabbed that chicken left hand held the chicken -- right hand had the neck.

SQUACK!!!

Then silence!

She put that chicken on the ground and it fluttered and rolled and finally died. She plucked that chicken til there was not a feather left.

I cried. Grams walked back into the house and made me wash that chicken. Then she taught me how to cut one up to fry.

She never said anything about my crying. And I learned the "how to" that I would need years later as I had a family to cook for. Whole chickens were all that we had when I first got married. It was cut that chicken up or roast it. My husband really preferred fried chicken.

My Grams was a great lady with lots of moxy and I really loved her.

More Tomorrow!!!

NanaBanana is no more

Our Lynn got tickets for all of us---Andrew and Brittany and of course Lochlan, her and Keith and me. We went up to OKC and went to the Art Museum.

Degas, Money, Van Gogh and lots of others. Gosh what a day!Paintings that I have only seen in books and mostly in black and white.
were displayed in all their color. The way Van Gogh uses the color to keep your eyes moving around the canvas.

I am so excited about the paintings that are running around in head. Sometimes I cant think of names or words,

 Chihuly fantastic glass things. Glass Persians all over the ceiling as we went down the hallway to the other beautiful things. Beautiful birds made with glass.Two boats full with colors in glass and lite with light. It was like a silent mound of fireworks.

The next floor we saw the exhibit of modern art. I got some really good ideas for future paintings. Can't tell you until I get around to it.

We went to either a late lunch or an early supper at this place that smelled so good! Lots of yummyness!!  PIZZA! Don't get a large one because it will take you a good week to eat it all-but I think it would be worth for  a good breakfast. 

Then on to the DO-NUT place. The chocolate was really chocolate and the frosting was so chocolatey.  Also yummyness!!

Back to Duncan, with lots of memories. Lachlan had never really been around me, but he climbed into my lap and talked to me. In a little while Britteney tild him I was NanaBanana. He preferred NanaG--so that's what he will call me from now on.

We ran into some - really it was lots of traffic - when e left the museum. The play - Hamilton - had it's last performance yesterday afternoon and I think there much not have been an unused seat. I have heard it was excellent. If you get a chance you should go.

So that was my week end and now begins another week.

NanaBanana--and the termites or whatever that is

Among a lot of other things I paint. When Jerry passed I asked the kids to help me clean out what was supposed to be the winter garden, and never really was, so I could have a studio and not have to paint in the house again.

The studio is connected to the original building that is now a place for small equipment and Christmas lights. And the termites too. There is an awful thing coming to their house--that's the termites I  I mean--their garden will soon be a thing of the past.

The temp has been over 100 every day for i think two weeks. I have not painted because of the heat. Heat and I don't mesh. I've decided that this is my way to spend the summer--in the house and then in the winter I can go out and play in the little bit of snow that southern Oklahoma gets.

Back to the studio---
When we bought the place this room that is falling down was a home for pigeons. We didn't have any but there were lots of nests and feathers that showed the pigeons had in fact lived there for a while.

When we got our first Harley we needed a place for the Harley to stay while Jerry was gone overseas. He opened the door that opened to the driveway. Two wide doors and the bike went right on into the room and stayed out of the house and rain. I had a small 250 Suzuki and it went in there too.
When we moved to Texas for that little while, I took my bike and his and we would take short trips. There is nothing like being on a motorcycle.

Back to the Studio!!

I'm thinking about putting that clear stuff that is put on windows to help keep the heat out. I want to paint. I have so many things I want to do.  Butterflies--those pictures of children--my Sarah--my great grand-kids. My cousins and nieces.

I've got a lot to do!!!

NanaBanana--that's me

I have a great grand son who is now 5. Kids are so cute. If parents would only realize that being less of a shrew and more of a quiet person those lovable kids would stay that way.

Long years ago when I was the mother of kids that were before school age, I would watch the afternoon talk shows. these days all I hear is this person is no good or that person slept with me and got me pregnant. And then the fights begin. Where does that get us anyway, this nana says NO WHERE. Arguing to the point of slinging fists does not accomplish anything.

The last fight you had with your spouse or your children, be honest to yourself, what happened. I can tell you-- doors got slammed, someone got a black eye and split lips.No one got any sleep and the baby cried all night from the drama. The next morning the heart ached so much it was almost to the level of breaking into little pieces.

Well, during those years when we were young and had little money and two kids, when I had to have a list of groceries WITH cost so I could save enough to at least feed the kids and the husband, I saw this man who talked about how to get things done without all the extreme drama that fighting causes.

He was talking about teaching kids how to make good decisions for themselves. I found out it works for men and women as much as it does for girls and boys.

His premise was this---
never give them a chance to lie about anything.
never ask them who broke the dish (or threw the rock through the window or whatever has your hair on end) if its two kids or ten, if they were there they are in trouble.
the answer to who did it was and is always -- he did it!
but there were ten kids there. They are all in trouble because the older ones should have gone to mom and told her what was going on. They all go into a different corner, have to look at the wall and this is what you say, "stay there until I can decided what kind of punishment you all deserve." There minds go to --no movies, can't have the phone or the games, or the computer, I can't go out with my friends.
Within the next hour you get them all back together and ask them what did they learn about all that happened. YOU pick out who is to talk first and on down to the end it's your decision. YOU are in charge not the kids who have to learn how to contain themselves. You will find that the person who started the nonsense will tell the group he did it. The others will tell their part in the turmoil and they are really sorry that this happened. The punishment would be no cookies for a week. Or no playing in the water. They have to make sure that the pets water bowls are full with clean water for the week. The reality is--they started something and THEY ended it.

Awesomeness!!

It works as a teacher. It works as a mother in law, it works as a grandma, and I know it will work as a NANA

NanaBanana and Global warming

Long years ago when I was a little kid my dad got a job in Dallas Texas as the WEATHER MAN. They tell us everything that is going on in the world. Where it's raining, where the hurricanes are and the tornadoes, where the wild fires are and the extreme dry almost desert areas are. They let us know when whole towns are desecrated from torrential rains. They tell us what THEY think will happen with the weather in the next five minutes and for the rest of the day until the next time they are on the TV or radio telling that things have changed.

My point is this -- has there ever been a weather man or woman who ALWAYS got it right? You name that person for me, and I will put your name in the next blog.

 I think that this tells me that the weather people read all their data and decide what is gonna happen. They tell us this is what is gonna be going on today outside the home, office, or school.

What they don't say is the fact that the information that they brought to our attention is only what was going on at that time.

Hurricanes are just as likely to swerve away from one part of the presumed pathway to another. It can even become either more violent or less.

Tornadoes have minds of their own. The words coming from the TV tell us they are a fourth of a mile heading out way and yet it's not there it's actually on the south part of town out in the pastures.

I do have a point here.

I've been reading and listening to all this Global weather problem. It's so hot in Germany the Autobaun is melting. It's been three digits of heat in Europe.

Yes it is getting warmer, but----

Thousands of years ago the whole of southern USA was covered in sea water because of melting ice bergs. And then the rain stopped and the water retreated so much so the southwestern part of the USA became mostly desert.

My concern is that we will spend millions on trying to figure out how to control the wind and the snow and the sun instead of preparing what is coming some day in the future. It is gonna happen but even the weather people can't put a day, an hour, a minute, or a second to when it will happen.

So, I'm saying look in a different direction people because we cannot control the weather. We can only control how to live with all the beauty of the spring and all the tornadoes, the cool and cold weather of Winter and the blizzards, the cool summers and the ones that keep 120 degees on the thermometer for three months, and the beautiful fall colors and the times when all of the beauty goes down the drain and we have to live through the bad stuff.

When it gets really dab--what is your survival pattern set up for. To tell the truth when the next global weather change happens it will take thousands of years to come to an end. But we still need to prepare and be aware of whats happening at your neck of the woods.

NanaBanana